I was introduced to the concept of a To-Be list at the start of the year during an uplifting talk given by my former CEO. Although I initially didn’t give it much thought, I now find myself reflecting on the power of focusing on who I want to be, rather than just what I want to do.
Looking back, I realize that the CEO’s message must have struck a chord with me on a deeper level than I initially realized. As I embark on a new journey as a blogger, I’m excited to pursue one of my long-forgotten to-be goals and to embody the qualities that I aspire to possess.
What is a To-be list?
Are you curious about the concept of a To-Be list? Despite its existence for the past five years, this idea may still be new to some, including me.
The To-Be list emphasizes the importance of focusing on who you want to be, rather than just what you want to accomplish. While the origin of this concept may not be clear, its benefits for personal growth and development are becoming increasingly recognized.
In this article, we’ll explore the concept of the To-Be list and how it can help you achieve a more fulfilling life.
But first, the to-do list
Most of us are familiar with to-do lists and their importance in helping us stay productive on a daily basis.
We rely on them to ensure that we accomplish the most critical tasks each day, avoiding the possibility of forgetting anything important.
This reliance is especially true during the New Year when we set goals and resolutions for the upcoming year.
However, what if we also considered a to-be list?
A to-be list focuses on the person we aspire to become, rather than just what we need to accomplish. It’s a way to ensure that we are living our lives in alignment with our values, rather than just ticking off tasks.
As we navigate our busy lives, a to-be list can help us remain mindful of who we want to be and prioritize the actions that help us become that person.
So why not take our list-making skills to the next level and consider creating a to-be list alongside our to-do list?
To-BE list
A to-be list is a powerful tool for personal growth and development. It focuses on who you want to be, rather than just what you want to do.
This list includes characteristics and values that you want to embody. Such as being present, engaged, approachable, and confident. By focusing on these qualities, you can cultivate the mindset and behaviors that will make you a better person overall.
It’s essential to note that creating a to-be list does not mean that you are inadequate in your current state. Instead, it’s an acknowledgment of human nature’s predisposition for growth and the desire to improve continuously. Just as we seek to streamline processes to save time, money, and reduce waste, we also want to improve ourselves to have a positive impact on those around us.
So, what does a to-be list look like in practice? Here are some examples of your to-be:
- A good listener: This involves being present, engaged, and truly hearing what someone has to say without interrupting or being distracted.
- Patient: This involves having the ability to remain calm and composed in challenging situations and not letting frustrations get the best of you.
- Kind: This involves showing compassion and empathy towards others and practicing random acts of kindness.
- Confident: This involves having self-assurance and the courage to take risks and try new things, even if they are outside of your comfort zone.
- Grateful: This involves being thankful for what you have and recognizing the positive aspects of your life, even in challenging times.
How is it different from To-do
A to-be list is different from a to-do list in that it is not focused on getting tasks done. Instead, it is a list of the characteristics, values, and behaviors that we want to embody or cultivate. While a to-do list helps us measure productivity at the end of the day, a to-be list helps us measure personal growth and development over time.
Unlike a to-do list, which can be a long and overwhelming list of tasks to complete in a given period of time, a to-be list is typically shorter and more intentional. It’s about focusing on who we want to be, rather than just what we want to accomplish.
For example, while a to-do list might include tasks such as “send emails,” “attend meeting,” and “do laundry,” a to-be list might include items such as “be patient,” “be present,” “be kind,” or “be courageous.”
By prioritizing our to-be list along with our to-do list, we can ensure that we are not only getting things done but also becoming the person we want to be in the process.
To-do list went sideways
We make a to-do list so that we can say that our day was well spent. Particularly in today’s society, where it appears that everyone needs to hustle and have a side-hustle. In a world where it seems the name of the game is to keep moving. Where taking a rest is looked upon as being lazy.
We get so caught up in the accomplishment of the items on the list that we forget how each of these items fits into the bigger picture. That these to-dos are steps toward achieving a goal. And not the end goal in and of itself.
Sometimes we even have a very long list but none of the items listed gets actually done. Overshadowed by other things in our day-to-day lives that are not important. These are the things we actually want to do or are easier for us to tackle compared to the ones on the list.
This could be because the purpose of the to-do list was lost and the focus was shifted to simply doing something.
The difference
A to-be list and a to-do list are similar in that they are both prepared the night before or early in the morning. The difference is that a to-be list is centered on development or improvement.
The purpose of your to-be list is to exhibit the character traits of the person you want to become.
What are character traits?
In simple terms, character traits are what defines a person. Put another way, it is how you will describe someone to others. The character trait of the person will be the description you provided.
Character traits are who you truly are on the inside. These are not the same as personality traits, which you deliberately display to the rest of the world.
The idea behind a to-be list is to channel the YOU that you want to be into a character trait. Because the concept of YOU has no effect on anyone unless it is translated into action.
How to be YOU
So how do we “channel” the abstract into action that they become character traits? The answer is through habit formation.
By the repetition of the action for the idea, your to-be. As time passes, the to-be will become more automatic and will have become ingrained as a character trait.
Choose one
However, as with any habit formation, it will be more beneficial to start with one trait at a time. Choosing just one allows you to focus on honing that character without distractions. You may then stack the other characters you want to develop from there.
Track your progress
This may prove difficult since we are talking about abstract. Not to mention that there will be a lot of things that you need to unlearn. It’s not like you want to be assertive and then suddenly become one 30 days later. It will undoubtedly take time. And a great deal of patience.
The process of becoming YOU is simple, but it will require consistent effort on a daily basis.
So how do you track a habit of value? That would be through reflection. As with a to-do list, we will need to review how our day went. Or like Benjamin Franklin terms it- examination of the day.
According to Arthur Worsley, Founder, and Editor of The Art of Living:
To keep things simple, it’s more helpful to count the negative instances of a character trait, instead of positives. That way, you can be sure that you avoid being the person you don’t want to be.
Rinse-repeat
Once the trait has been entrenched in you. You may then proceed to the other character traits you want to become.
Which list to focus on
Now that we have a to-be list, do we then discard our to-do list? Not necessarily.
On the contrary, having a to-be list will enhance your to-do list by allowing you to be more deliberate. Your to-be list will greatly influence the things that you want to do for the day.
Re-focus with a to-be list
Instead of your to-do list taking charge of the day because they MUST be completed. A to-be list will help you become in charge.
By focusing more on who you are and who you want to be, you are consciously choosing your actions away from doing something just for the sake of being productive.
You can use the to-be list to better structure the things you want to do. You may be able to take a step back and think things through before proceeding with a particular action.
Like making a call for example with a service provider. Your to-do list is to renew a contract with the vendor. With only the list, you may just call up the vendor and request a quotation for the renewal.
With a to-be list- let’s say to be assertive, your action will still be to phone the vendor. But instead of just requesting the quotation, you will discuss better terms of service first prior to renewal.
Or if for example, your to-be is to be more friendly or engaging, then you might want to ask the vendor first how his day was before getting into the discussion of service renewal.
A to-be list does not entirely get rid of the productivity part of the day, but it would add more value to your day. It will assist you in taking a step back and seeing the big picture rather than just doing the small stuff.
Making use of them lists
To make better use of these two lists, the best approach is to have fewer items in them. In the to-be list, we mentioned starting first with just one core value to form into a character trait. This should be done as well in our daily to-do list.
This way we do not overwhelm ourselves. A shorter to-do list will allow us to find time to integrate our to-be list with our to-do. It will make us more mindful of how we spend our day.
In summary
A to-be list is a great tool to use in conjunction with a to-do list. It allows us to be more present in our day. It makes us become better people who will ultimately have a positive impact on others.
What do you think? Will keeping a to-do list help you live a better life? Please share your thoughts in the comments.
Outside link:
800 Character Traits: The Ultimate List (+ How to Develop a Good Character Step-by-Step)